Mom Update - Wednesday, May 26

I didn't write about my visit on Sunday so I'll start from there.

Sunday, May 23 - Dad and I both visited with Mom today (we arrive seperately). When I walked in the room she was sitting up in her bed, smiling and chatting with Dad. She was a little quieter than usual but was joining in the conversation - asking about people, replying, and generally sconversing normally.
She did seem to be somewhat confused about leaving that day. She mentioned several times that she was told she might be leaving with us and that the nurses would tell her more and for certain once Dad arrived. But it obviously didn't make true sense because they wouldn't wait until visiting hours to release her. So as she mentioned it maybe a third time I told her that I didn't think that she would be leaving that day (Sunday) and Dad said the same. When it was time to leave she stood up with us to see us out but then reached for her things on the table and asked the nurse if "this is all I need to take with me? My clothes?" thinking again that she was leaving with us. The nurse assured her that she was not going home yet and we confirmed it with her. Then she hugged us both and said goodbye to us and waved from her room door, going back in after a few seconds.
Her wishing to leave and the confusion wasn't overly upsetting because she didn't appear to be upset herself but it left me feeling sad because somewhere within she was obviously wishing to go home.


Monday, May 24th - I didn't hear from Mom and didn't call her myself. I'm not what everyone else did.

Tuesday, May 25th - I arrived about 10 minutes late and when I came in Mom was lying on her bed staring at her wall appearing tired and nervous. Dad was looking over her chart. She immediately told me that I needed to leave because something was wrong. She told me that her room was dirty and that she was dirty and that I had to go, that the nurses didn't want me to be there because of it. So I asked her how long she needed me to step out and she said she'd let me know. I turned to Dad to ask about this and he shook his head saying that nothing was wrong and there was no reason for me to leave. There was nothing wrong or "dirty" about Mom or the room that I could tell. The only thing was that a seat had a small area that apparently something spilled on it, probably from dinner, so I washed it off and sat down to visit with her and Dad.

We both asked her about her day, activities, meals, etc but she mostly only gave 1-2 word answers and didn't seem to want to talk about anything. Dad said they had given her something to relax her which it definitely did. She never showed much emotion, asked any questions, or seemed interested in any conversation. We stayed and just chatted, mostly with eachother, so that she had at least had family around. She wasn't upset at that point, just very calm and quiet and content to look at the wall. Dad got her to smile a little a few times.

Another patient stopped by the door and mentioned that she had been upset and crying earlier in the day. That when they couldn't calm her or distract her with anything that they decided to have her go lie down, of which they apparently carried her to her bed to get her to do so. They also made her take a shower, helped her dress, and gave her the calming medication at some point. This other patient is apparently a new friend and Mom smiled and spoke to her a few times, too.

There aren't any TVs in the rooms, in fact they're extremely stripped of everything and are very bare without any decoration or entertainment misc. This is to serve as a safety for patients who are a danger to themselves or others and to encourage them to leave their room to reach out to people and join in on group therapy times and scheduled available activities. Being reclusive and withdrawn is part of the symptoms and deterioration of depression. So I brought her several magazines and a puzzle book which is permitted. I mentioned them several times and told her not to throw them away because I wanted them back (I only said this to encourage her to keep them around so they weren't asked to be thrown out before I could even make it back to my car later).

When it was time to leave we said our goodbyes and she stayed on the bed. I think the medication probably made her physically tired so we weren't expecting her to get up to see us out. She did speak and wave slightly and said she'd see us at the next visit (Thursday).


Today, Wednesday, I will call her this morning before I leave around 10:30. And I'll probably call her this evening. I'm not sure why she was crying yesterday but she does go through that sometimes at home.

I hope to see her smiling and conversing at tomorrow's visit. Please pray for her when you read these updates because she's still there and needs your prayers!

Mom Update

I'd like to begin adding updates on my mother so that family and friends will know how to pray for her, what to expect, and when she needs extra TLC. Bi-polar is a hard road to walk for herself and very hard for her close family as well. I am somewhat treading on shaky ground because I am at a point that sometimes I'm in a reversal role of mother-to-child -- and yet as my mother I want and will respect her role in my life. Please know that I would never bring any disrespect to her but that I know that many people have not had much contact with her because of their geographical distance or just haven't understood her actions and words and have distanced themselves. Sometimes she's my wonderful, loving, faithful, enduring, selfless, nurturing mother and at other times I have to remember that if she is less than those that it is because of the terrible sin in this world that causes such illness. I will always love, support, and care for my mother in whatever capacity is needed. She always took care of me and believed in me and I couldn't do anything less for her.

Mom has struggled with bi-polar since the mid 1990s but more apparently so since 2000, and incredibly so since 2008. Sometimes she feels great and carries on like normal but sometimes she has what I call "episodes" of being more up/manic or being more down/depressed.

Up-to-speed note .. Mom has mostly gone downhill in the last few weeks since Mother's Day weekend after several months of feeling mostly normal. She has become much less aware of personal space and is seemingly desperate for physical affection so she tends to hug closer, longer, and more tightly than the typical person's comfort zone.

Tuesday, May 18th - She insisted on going to the ER. She called Dad who was at a nearby card party to take her. It was a somewhat scare because we heard of it through the grapevine and I went searching for a couple hours before finding her and getting information. After many hours and tests there was nothing physically to be found wrong except her own concerns and overdramatic tendencies in that situation. When in the care of hospital staff and with Dad she would 'deteriorate' to a helpless state as if she were on he deathbed but if she spoke to myself or John on the telephone or in person then she perked up and somewhat immediately got better. It's as if her mothering instinct kicks in to making sure her children aren't overly concerned with her, much like I'd tell my preschoolers that Mommy is okay no matter what I'm truly feeling. The attending MD and her own MD determined that she could be admitted to the psychiatric ward if she desired, which she had previously mentioned, but she turned it down and went home.

Saturday, May 22nd - Around 10:30am our children and I went to their house to visit and to go to a festival up the street from their house. Dad and I both separately spoke to Mom, who was in bed. She insisted she was fine and for us to go on without her, speaking in normal tones and friendliness. Just after 1pm as we were walking back to their house a neighbor met us partway saying that while gone Mom had called 911. We don't know what was said but when the paramedics and multiple police apparently swarmed their home she wouldn't speak so they took her to the hospital along with all medications in sight. The same scenerio unfolded but this time her blood tests showed too-low levels of certain medications. She later admitted to Dad that she had been throwing them away. (He has them set up in daily/hourly pill boxes and gives them to her when he is home and reminds her to take them before he leaves if he won't be.) They decided to admit her into the psychiatric ward to level these out and make changes as needed. I think this is the best decision for right now. So she is at our local hospital for the time being.

Visiting days are Tues, Thurs, Sat, & Sun for 2-hr stints. The hospital phone is 828-286-5000 and after asking for the 5th floor/psychiatric floor the nurse's station will have to confirm with Mom before she can speak. If you call and she can't or refuses to speak please do not feel slighted. Sometimes she's up for it and sometimes she isn't. I have and will visit each available time, including tonight. I'll update later tonight on her condition and how Sunday's visit and tonight goes!

~ Steph

Winter's Activity and New Growth

Here we are smack dab in the middle of Winter. It's been a much colder winter here than usual but the same can be said for most in America, I guess. We've had near-daily highs of 20s and 30s where we usually have much milder 40s and even low 50s.

It makes for a bit stir-crazy house when you have half a dozen children milling about because they can't get out in the extreme cold or wetness. They start to become like little atoms and bounce off of each other gaining momentum and just sheer boredom-induced negative energy. Shorter fuses, nit-picking, whining, the works. We're all glad the sun is shining a bit more everyday, too, so we don't feel so like we're hibernating and the days go by so quickly. Warmer weather and sunshine for that coveted mood-enhancing Vitamin D is surely looked forward to. The four oldest are able to get out and exercise a little, mingling with classmates during school at the least. I think I must get myself and our two preschoolers out a bit more.

Everyone is has been amazingly very well in health so far this winter. Just a few days of things here and there, but nothing too bad. I'd love to get through this winter without the flu and some years we have done just that. Here's hoping, washing hands, and praying!

Speaking of praying, the Lord has been moving in our lives, stirring smoldering desires to serve him outside of our regular family life. Long ago I had a deep desire to travel on foreign missions to tell people about Jesus and especially to help with orphaned children. Michael has had a few ideas in the past of maybe joining other missionaries in basic field work and to be able use his computer skills and knowledge. But recently we've been getting more stirrings to know Him more deeply and serve Him in different and new areas as individuals, a couple, and whole family. And some might in areas we hadn't thought about before. I think I'll have more to write on this subject as time goes by. Stay tuned!

Fall is Changing!

I love Fall. I really do! Although we didn't have much of a hot summer to speak of and it seemingly went by without any big 'tadoos' I was still ready for it to end and Autumn to begin. It's somehow comforting to feel the cool air and see the leaves start to change. I guess because whatever is going on in your life, things always change. If it's a horrible season of life or a sad one, it's sure to change! And if it's a great, seemingly easy-going time of life, this too will change.

But that constant motion is comforting to me because it means I'm alive!

I really do have a good life. I have so much that many do not. I have a husband, children, parents, brothers and their families, and many other family members - quite a few that I see pretty regularly. I'm becoming closer to old friends just by keeping in touch and getting together for cookouts and relaxing times together. We are very blessed! Very Blessed, indeed.

note: camera dates are wrong! This photo is of my daughter, Anna, at 19-months-old (September 2009)