Mom Update:
Saturday, May 29 ~ Dad and I visited with Mom today during the afternoon visitation. I also took my youngest, Anna (2), with me. Anna was quiet and shy until I encouraged her to get up and play and interact, then she started to get a little too loud. :) Mom was happy to see her, talking and conversing pretty normally. We talked about doing something for Memorial Day but no plans yet. But then Mom wanted to rest about halfway through the visiting time so we all decided to leave a little early knowing that she would be leaving the next morning anyway.
Sunday, May 30 ~ Mom is officially discharged from the hospital!! She and Dad took her few things and spent part of the evening with John & Marlene and family for dinner which was very nice but seemed to tire Mom out a bit. We spoke on the phone but I didn't visit with them. She and I made plans for a simple Memorial Day picnic menu to be at their house. She stayed pretty much on task with the conversation and only got confused a few times where I just redirected her back to the subject.
My thoughts:
A few days ago my heart was broken and just shattered on the floor where I physically dropped onto. I truly didn't have the strength to get up. I sobbed deeper and harder than I ever have, only thinking that my mother would never be at home again and might even die. We were all broken with this news.
But God has seen fit to give us new hope and a plan. We are never to give up.. we're to keep pressing on and changing tactics as necessary. Only when He takes us home to Heaven is when we are to stop pursuing that particular avenue. We are to go and go until He stops us.
I once asked a friend who is the mother of 20 children how she got through each day when I struggled with only my 5 (at the time). She said, "If the Lord gives you the day, then He's given you what you need to get through it." It was honestly kind of too simple of an answer for me. I was waiting to hear some great, unforeseen advice of the great women such as her. And that was it? It was too simple to accept but sometimes we just need to DO and not over-think it.
If we knew what we were going to face 20 years ago or sometimes even 10 minutes ago then we just might crumble into despair. We know what we need to and we have the means to deal with it. He is all we need and He's given us what we need. He has more faith in us than we have in Him sometimes. That's something to think about.
So, now, we begin a new chapter in our lives. We continue on with our daily life, grow in relationship with my parents, and take on new roles. Now I won't just be a daughter and friend of my mother I'll also be a regular companion and at times, a care-giver. I'm so humbled to know that I get to be here right now to do this for her. I could easily be living too far away or make myself too busy to care for her on a regular basis. It would deeply trouble me if I had to accept that I couldn't be there for her and need to rely on someone else most of the time that we possibly don't even know that well. It's my privilege and responsibility and God knows my heart in this and He's made it so to which I'm extremely grateful. And on those days that I am ready to Get out of their house because I'm starting to lose it (!) I'll look back on this and remember these feelings. :)
I'll post up more updates of Mom but mostly just as pertinent information occurs. Until then, know that we are going on with our daily lives with Dad caring for her at home and myself stepping a few afternoons each week so that he can continue with his cherished time out with friends at the county Senior Center, playing cards and enjoying himself! We hope that Mom will join in some activities there as well sometime. I might continue with this blog but likely it'll dwindle down in frequency! And I'll post up some pictures sometimes, too!
Have a wonderful Memorial Day, everyone! Our country is a great one and we have so many to be thankful to for our rights and freedoms.
An especial Thank You to:
Steven & Clara Wyant - our nephew and niece-in-law who are currently and formerly (respectively) serving in the Navy, and their 1-year-old daughter, Sanlaya, who are stationed in Washington state.
Josh & Sonya Marie Shultz - our nephew-in-law and niece who are both currently serving in the Army and stationed in Washington, D.C.
Scott & Andrea Sheridan - Mike's uncle and family who is currently serving in the Army and stationed in Missouri.
Wesley Luther - my cousin who is currently serving in the Marines and is stationed in North Carolina.
Wendy Poston - Mike's mother who served in the Navy
Mike Sheridan (I) - Mike's father who served in the Navy
Bob Wyant - my father who served in the Marines
John Wyant - my brother who served in the Army
We both have many more retired military family and several current friends and are grateful to each of you.
We're proud to Remember on this Memorial Day !
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
The Meeting and Decisions
Mom Update:
Friday, May 28th - Dad and I met at the hospital and briefly spoke with Mom before heading to the meeting. When we entered her room she was lying on the bed with her eyes fluttering half open, appearing almost comatose. It was startling and bizarre, honestly. We spoke to her and she whispered back to me that she loved me. Dad can't hear whisperings so that will prove to be frustrating for their communication if she continues that way much of the time. We had to go on to the meeting room and a few minutes later a nurse came with Mom walking slowly beside her with assistance.
We spoke with the social worker and a nurse, and then later with her primary doctor. Mom went from barely whispering to speaking and giving quiet arguments and just any thoughts that would keep her IN the hospital because she just doesn't feel ready to go home. She wants to be cured and healed and go home and live normally before she leaves. Obviously, this is a chronic illness and we've each explained this to her and will in the future as it comes up. However, it was talked about and agreed all around that the best for Mom is to come HOME (Read: Not A Nursing Home/Assisted Living!!!) She's agreed with her kind doctor that she will get up and interact with others, participate in activities and meetings, etc, at the hospital so that she may leave tomorrow.
So the PLAN: Mom will leave the hospital Sunday afternoon and come home with Dad. Dad, being retired, is willing and able to care for her and be a nurse to her with her current needs. Most of the time, Mom seems to be able to do everything she needs to do on her own. She'll speak, take care of her personal needs, dress, eat, and so on by herself. Physically speaking, she needs help with walking sometimes because she loses footing and becomes unsteady if she stands up too quickly. When she begins to worry and fret her blood pressure sky rockets. Other than those she is fine physically. But in her mind she slips into these darker places and we have to help draw her out of them to see the truth of her abilities.
Manic-depression/Bi-polar - It's a battle of the mind. She needs to draw on her will to live and live life abundantly. The deep depression makes her withdraw and lose interest in others, activities, taking care of herself, and want to sleep most of the day and night. The manic side makes her impatient, agitated, angry, and sometimes lose sense of propriety.
My thoughts:
It's..difficult..watching anyone not have full capabilities and especially in our society it makes us awkward to be around others who are disabled in some way. But one thing that must ground us is to know that people are still people. We all need love and affection, we need attention and acceptance for who we are whatever that may be.
A baby looks forward to seeing his mother and father and smiles and loves them. He doesn't know that he's waking them up at night, making messy diapers, and making them change their lives to incorporate him.
A 4-year-old is very curious, asking questions, trying to do things on her own, laughing and talking too loudly. She doesn't realize that she's making more messes than helping, asking more questions than the adults want to answer, and disturbing the quiet setting at the library.
The same goes on for all ages, the levels of independence and dependence, the mind knowing and understanding or being simple and quiet. We are People. We grow, we change, we always need others, and at times in our lives we need them to care completely for our needs. This sets us apart from all other creation. We love and we enjoy and we endure.
I have loved my mother when I was a needy often-vomiting baby, a curious child, a mouthy teenager, a sometimes foolhardy and too-independent young adult, and as a married mother seeking advice of another woman. I need her now, and she needs me. I won't let her down. She'll always be my mother no matter what her capacity in my life.
I hope that others will feel the same about her because she needs all of us to let her know that life is worth living. It's no great effort for me to feel this way - I've always loved her. She's my Mom.
Friday, May 28th - Dad and I met at the hospital and briefly spoke with Mom before heading to the meeting. When we entered her room she was lying on the bed with her eyes fluttering half open, appearing almost comatose. It was startling and bizarre, honestly. We spoke to her and she whispered back to me that she loved me. Dad can't hear whisperings so that will prove to be frustrating for their communication if she continues that way much of the time. We had to go on to the meeting room and a few minutes later a nurse came with Mom walking slowly beside her with assistance.
We spoke with the social worker and a nurse, and then later with her primary doctor. Mom went from barely whispering to speaking and giving quiet arguments and just any thoughts that would keep her IN the hospital because she just doesn't feel ready to go home. She wants to be cured and healed and go home and live normally before she leaves. Obviously, this is a chronic illness and we've each explained this to her and will in the future as it comes up. However, it was talked about and agreed all around that the best for Mom is to come HOME (Read: Not A Nursing Home/Assisted Living!!!) She's agreed with her kind doctor that she will get up and interact with others, participate in activities and meetings, etc, at the hospital so that she may leave tomorrow.
So the PLAN: Mom will leave the hospital Sunday afternoon and come home with Dad. Dad, being retired, is willing and able to care for her and be a nurse to her with her current needs. Most of the time, Mom seems to be able to do everything she needs to do on her own. She'll speak, take care of her personal needs, dress, eat, and so on by herself. Physically speaking, she needs help with walking sometimes because she loses footing and becomes unsteady if she stands up too quickly. When she begins to worry and fret her blood pressure sky rockets. Other than those she is fine physically. But in her mind she slips into these darker places and we have to help draw her out of them to see the truth of her abilities.
Manic-depression/Bi-polar - It's a battle of the mind. She needs to draw on her will to live and live life abundantly. The deep depression makes her withdraw and lose interest in others, activities, taking care of herself, and want to sleep most of the day and night. The manic side makes her impatient, agitated, angry, and sometimes lose sense of propriety.
My thoughts:
It's..difficult..watching anyone not have full capabilities and especially in our society it makes us awkward to be around others who are disabled in some way. But one thing that must ground us is to know that people are still people. We all need love and affection, we need attention and acceptance for who we are whatever that may be.
A baby looks forward to seeing his mother and father and smiles and loves them. He doesn't know that he's waking them up at night, making messy diapers, and making them change their lives to incorporate him.
A 4-year-old is very curious, asking questions, trying to do things on her own, laughing and talking too loudly. She doesn't realize that she's making more messes than helping, asking more questions than the adults want to answer, and disturbing the quiet setting at the library.
The same goes on for all ages, the levels of independence and dependence, the mind knowing and understanding or being simple and quiet. We are People. We grow, we change, we always need others, and at times in our lives we need them to care completely for our needs. This sets us apart from all other creation. We love and we enjoy and we endure.
I have loved my mother when I was a needy often-vomiting baby, a curious child, a mouthy teenager, a sometimes foolhardy and too-independent young adult, and as a married mother seeking advice of another woman. I need her now, and she needs me. I won't let her down. She'll always be my mother no matter what her capacity in my life.
I hope that others will feel the same about her because she needs all of us to let her know that life is worth living. It's no great effort for me to feel this way - I've always loved her. She's my Mom.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Ups and Downs but Turning Around!
Mom Update:
Thursday, May 27th ~ Dad, myself, John, and Holli all visited with Mom at the evening visitation time. As there can only be 2 visitors at a time we rotated in and out. Mom was quieter at first but then perked up, walking about some, smiling, conversing, and girl-talking and laughing with Holli and I. It was a good visit.
Dad sincerely pressed the issue with Mom that he wanted her to come home for her care, that he (and we all) miss her, and that she's missing out on life with our family and just generally being outside of the hospital atmosphere.
My thoughts on Mom:
I think that Mom feels comforted and like she's a 'safe zone' in the hospital with around-the-clock care. She's so deeply frustrated, fearful, and just saddened of these changes in herself over the last years that she is holding on to the hope that if she is in the hospital that someone is going to Fix her, cure her, heal her. She knows that at home in and in normal life that people don't just generally cater and constantly check on someone with them being their main focus like there is with nursing care. So this thinking and need, if you will, cripples her emotionally and brings her down hill mentally which then seems to manifest itself physically.
Dad is willing to be a nurse to her which is a lot for men to do, especially men who are nearing 70 years old. But Mom has shown that even if she appears completely normal with speaking, actions, and activities that she really isn't 100% okay and just isn't able to be alone and on her own. What might be a few minutes in actuality may seem like hours to her of being alone, causing panic, disorientation, and just bring on many problems like feeling the need to call 911 when there is nothing wrong in reality.
I need to get off here and finish later because a stong thunderstorm is coming through and blinking things around the house! Until then..
Thursday, May 27th ~ Dad, myself, John, and Holli all visited with Mom at the evening visitation time. As there can only be 2 visitors at a time we rotated in and out. Mom was quieter at first but then perked up, walking about some, smiling, conversing, and girl-talking and laughing with Holli and I. It was a good visit.
Dad sincerely pressed the issue with Mom that he wanted her to come home for her care, that he (and we all) miss her, and that she's missing out on life with our family and just generally being outside of the hospital atmosphere.
My thoughts on Mom:
I think that Mom feels comforted and like she's a 'safe zone' in the hospital with around-the-clock care. She's so deeply frustrated, fearful, and just saddened of these changes in herself over the last years that she is holding on to the hope that if she is in the hospital that someone is going to Fix her, cure her, heal her. She knows that at home in and in normal life that people don't just generally cater and constantly check on someone with them being their main focus like there is with nursing care. So this thinking and need, if you will, cripples her emotionally and brings her down hill mentally which then seems to manifest itself physically.
Dad is willing to be a nurse to her which is a lot for men to do, especially men who are nearing 70 years old. But Mom has shown that even if she appears completely normal with speaking, actions, and activities that she really isn't 100% okay and just isn't able to be alone and on her own. What might be a few minutes in actuality may seem like hours to her of being alone, causing panic, disorientation, and just bring on many problems like feeling the need to call 911 when there is nothing wrong in reality.
I need to get off here and finish later because a stong thunderstorm is coming through and blinking things around the house! Until then..
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Not very good news to pass along..
With things changing so apparently quickly it's almost hard to decide *when* to update but I'm glad that I am because it helps keep people in the know. This is all so surreal.
Wednesday, May 26th -
9 am - I called to speak with Mom. The nurse told me that she might not speak because she hadn't interacted with anyone and refused to eat breakfast. The nurse attempted to give her a few bites but she didn't really eat anything. The nurse held the phone to Mom's ear for me and I tried to entice her to speak to me but she just wouldn't. That's the first time my mother hasn't spoken to me.
2 pm - After lunch, I tried again. This time Mom spoke to me - asking regular questions, reacting, and responding as normal. She said she had eaten a little lunch. She doesn't remember me calling earlier. She kept the conversation short saying she was about to lie for a nap and we said our goodbyes. I definitely felt encouraged.
8 pm - While talking to Holli (my niece) she mentions that Dad has stopped by their house and looks really upset so I asked her to call me if there was anything to know.
9 pm - My brother, John, calls with news from Dad - the facts and gist of the conversation is this: Dad spoke with the doctors. Her condition has deteriorated which explains the rapid change in disposition, ability, memory, mood, etc. She's showing signs of Alzheimer's disease. At some point in the afternoon she was completely confused and crying, saying that her daughter is pregnant and going to die, that she was going to go to jail for calling 911, and so on. She was quite upset so they gave her some calming meds. With some comparison brain scans from last week until yesterday it showed that her brain waves have changed in deterioration. He said that we need to consider the fact that she'll never leave the hospital and/or that she might need to move into assisted living for the remainder of her life.
Not long after John and I hung up, Dad came to our house and we discussed all of this as well as online a while later.
My father was pitiful and needs prayer and support. I am pretty broken-hearted.
Today, Thursday, May 27th -
4 pm - I just called and Mom spoke with me this afternoon. She conversed normally but sounded and was very tired and sleepy. I told her we were visiting tonight and she was happy about that. She was understanding that not everyone can come. She did say her goodbyes and responded that she loves me.
Today is my Grandma Luther's 99th birthday, my mother's mother (1911-1996). In her last few years her mind deteriorated with dementia and she had many of the same symptoms, experiences, and trials as my mother is apparently slipping into. The stark difference is that my Grandmother was 85 when she died and my mother is 65. I have to wonder.. Will I go through this? And knowing that I have four daughters that I could 'pass this on to' is too much to bear right now.
Tonight is a regular visiting evening (6:30-8) so Dad, John, and I will be going for certain. Our brother, Mike, hopes to leave work early enough to join us.
Wednesday, May 26th -
9 am - I called to speak with Mom. The nurse told me that she might not speak because she hadn't interacted with anyone and refused to eat breakfast. The nurse attempted to give her a few bites but she didn't really eat anything. The nurse held the phone to Mom's ear for me and I tried to entice her to speak to me but she just wouldn't. That's the first time my mother hasn't spoken to me.
2 pm - After lunch, I tried again. This time Mom spoke to me - asking regular questions, reacting, and responding as normal. She said she had eaten a little lunch. She doesn't remember me calling earlier. She kept the conversation short saying she was about to lie for a nap and we said our goodbyes. I definitely felt encouraged.
8 pm - While talking to Holli (my niece) she mentions that Dad has stopped by their house and looks really upset so I asked her to call me if there was anything to know.
9 pm - My brother, John, calls with news from Dad - the facts and gist of the conversation is this: Dad spoke with the doctors. Her condition has deteriorated which explains the rapid change in disposition, ability, memory, mood, etc. She's showing signs of Alzheimer's disease. At some point in the afternoon she was completely confused and crying, saying that her daughter is pregnant and going to die, that she was going to go to jail for calling 911, and so on. She was quite upset so they gave her some calming meds. With some comparison brain scans from last week until yesterday it showed that her brain waves have changed in deterioration. He said that we need to consider the fact that she'll never leave the hospital and/or that she might need to move into assisted living for the remainder of her life.
Not long after John and I hung up, Dad came to our house and we discussed all of this as well as online a while later.
My father was pitiful and needs prayer and support. I am pretty broken-hearted.
Today, Thursday, May 27th -
4 pm - I just called and Mom spoke with me this afternoon. She conversed normally but sounded and was very tired and sleepy. I told her we were visiting tonight and she was happy about that. She was understanding that not everyone can come. She did say her goodbyes and responded that she loves me.
Today is my Grandma Luther's 99th birthday, my mother's mother (1911-1996). In her last few years her mind deteriorated with dementia and she had many of the same symptoms, experiences, and trials as my mother is apparently slipping into. The stark difference is that my Grandmother was 85 when she died and my mother is 65. I have to wonder.. Will I go through this? And knowing that I have four daughters that I could 'pass this on to' is too much to bear right now.
Tonight is a regular visiting evening (6:30-8) so Dad, John, and I will be going for certain. Our brother, Mike, hopes to leave work early enough to join us.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Mom Update - Wednesday, May 26
I didn't write about my visit on Sunday so I'll start from there.
Sunday, May 23 - Dad and I both visited with Mom today (we arrive seperately). When I walked in the room she was sitting up in her bed, smiling and chatting with Dad. She was a little quieter than usual but was joining in the conversation - asking about people, replying, and generally sconversing normally.
She did seem to be somewhat confused about leaving that day. She mentioned several times that she was told she might be leaving with us and that the nurses would tell her more and for certain once Dad arrived. But it obviously didn't make true sense because they wouldn't wait until visiting hours to release her. So as she mentioned it maybe a third time I told her that I didn't think that she would be leaving that day (Sunday) and Dad said the same. When it was time to leave she stood up with us to see us out but then reached for her things on the table and asked the nurse if "this is all I need to take with me? My clothes?" thinking again that she was leaving with us. The nurse assured her that she was not going home yet and we confirmed it with her. Then she hugged us both and said goodbye to us and waved from her room door, going back in after a few seconds.
Her wishing to leave and the confusion wasn't overly upsetting because she didn't appear to be upset herself but it left me feeling sad because somewhere within she was obviously wishing to go home.
Monday, May 24th - I didn't hear from Mom and didn't call her myself. I'm not what everyone else did.
Tuesday, May 25th - I arrived about 10 minutes late and when I came in Mom was lying on her bed staring at her wall appearing tired and nervous. Dad was looking over her chart. She immediately told me that I needed to leave because something was wrong. She told me that her room was dirty and that she was dirty and that I had to go, that the nurses didn't want me to be there because of it. So I asked her how long she needed me to step out and she said she'd let me know. I turned to Dad to ask about this and he shook his head saying that nothing was wrong and there was no reason for me to leave. There was nothing wrong or "dirty" about Mom or the room that I could tell. The only thing was that a seat had a small area that apparently something spilled on it, probably from dinner, so I washed it off and sat down to visit with her and Dad.
We both asked her about her day, activities, meals, etc but she mostly only gave 1-2 word answers and didn't seem to want to talk about anything. Dad said they had given her something to relax her which it definitely did. She never showed much emotion, asked any questions, or seemed interested in any conversation. We stayed and just chatted, mostly with eachother, so that she had at least had family around. She wasn't upset at that point, just very calm and quiet and content to look at the wall. Dad got her to smile a little a few times.
Another patient stopped by the door and mentioned that she had been upset and crying earlier in the day. That when they couldn't calm her or distract her with anything that they decided to have her go lie down, of which they apparently carried her to her bed to get her to do so. They also made her take a shower, helped her dress, and gave her the calming medication at some point. This other patient is apparently a new friend and Mom smiled and spoke to her a few times, too.
There aren't any TVs in the rooms, in fact they're extremely stripped of everything and are very bare without any decoration or entertainment misc. This is to serve as a safety for patients who are a danger to themselves or others and to encourage them to leave their room to reach out to people and join in on group therapy times and scheduled available activities. Being reclusive and withdrawn is part of the symptoms and deterioration of depression. So I brought her several magazines and a puzzle book which is permitted. I mentioned them several times and told her not to throw them away because I wanted them back (I only said this to encourage her to keep them around so they weren't asked to be thrown out before I could even make it back to my car later).
When it was time to leave we said our goodbyes and she stayed on the bed. I think the medication probably made her physically tired so we weren't expecting her to get up to see us out. She did speak and wave slightly and said she'd see us at the next visit (Thursday).
Today, Wednesday, I will call her this morning before I leave around 10:30. And I'll probably call her this evening. I'm not sure why she was crying yesterday but she does go through that sometimes at home.
I hope to see her smiling and conversing at tomorrow's visit. Please pray for her when you read these updates because she's still there and needs your prayers!
Sunday, May 23 - Dad and I both visited with Mom today (we arrive seperately). When I walked in the room she was sitting up in her bed, smiling and chatting with Dad. She was a little quieter than usual but was joining in the conversation - asking about people, replying, and generally sconversing normally.
She did seem to be somewhat confused about leaving that day. She mentioned several times that she was told she might be leaving with us and that the nurses would tell her more and for certain once Dad arrived. But it obviously didn't make true sense because they wouldn't wait until visiting hours to release her. So as she mentioned it maybe a third time I told her that I didn't think that she would be leaving that day (Sunday) and Dad said the same. When it was time to leave she stood up with us to see us out but then reached for her things on the table and asked the nurse if "this is all I need to take with me? My clothes?" thinking again that she was leaving with us. The nurse assured her that she was not going home yet and we confirmed it with her. Then she hugged us both and said goodbye to us and waved from her room door, going back in after a few seconds.
Her wishing to leave and the confusion wasn't overly upsetting because she didn't appear to be upset herself but it left me feeling sad because somewhere within she was obviously wishing to go home.
Monday, May 24th - I didn't hear from Mom and didn't call her myself. I'm not what everyone else did.
Tuesday, May 25th - I arrived about 10 minutes late and when I came in Mom was lying on her bed staring at her wall appearing tired and nervous. Dad was looking over her chart. She immediately told me that I needed to leave because something was wrong. She told me that her room was dirty and that she was dirty and that I had to go, that the nurses didn't want me to be there because of it. So I asked her how long she needed me to step out and she said she'd let me know. I turned to Dad to ask about this and he shook his head saying that nothing was wrong and there was no reason for me to leave. There was nothing wrong or "dirty" about Mom or the room that I could tell. The only thing was that a seat had a small area that apparently something spilled on it, probably from dinner, so I washed it off and sat down to visit with her and Dad.
We both asked her about her day, activities, meals, etc but she mostly only gave 1-2 word answers and didn't seem to want to talk about anything. Dad said they had given her something to relax her which it definitely did. She never showed much emotion, asked any questions, or seemed interested in any conversation. We stayed and just chatted, mostly with eachother, so that she had at least had family around. She wasn't upset at that point, just very calm and quiet and content to look at the wall. Dad got her to smile a little a few times.
Another patient stopped by the door and mentioned that she had been upset and crying earlier in the day. That when they couldn't calm her or distract her with anything that they decided to have her go lie down, of which they apparently carried her to her bed to get her to do so. They also made her take a shower, helped her dress, and gave her the calming medication at some point. This other patient is apparently a new friend and Mom smiled and spoke to her a few times, too.
There aren't any TVs in the rooms, in fact they're extremely stripped of everything and are very bare without any decoration or entertainment misc. This is to serve as a safety for patients who are a danger to themselves or others and to encourage them to leave their room to reach out to people and join in on group therapy times and scheduled available activities. Being reclusive and withdrawn is part of the symptoms and deterioration of depression. So I brought her several magazines and a puzzle book which is permitted. I mentioned them several times and told her not to throw them away because I wanted them back (I only said this to encourage her to keep them around so they weren't asked to be thrown out before I could even make it back to my car later).
When it was time to leave we said our goodbyes and she stayed on the bed. I think the medication probably made her physically tired so we weren't expecting her to get up to see us out. She did speak and wave slightly and said she'd see us at the next visit (Thursday).
Today, Wednesday, I will call her this morning before I leave around 10:30. And I'll probably call her this evening. I'm not sure why she was crying yesterday but she does go through that sometimes at home.
I hope to see her smiling and conversing at tomorrow's visit. Please pray for her when you read these updates because she's still there and needs your prayers!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Mom Update
I'd like to begin adding updates on my mother so that family and friends will know how to pray for her, what to expect, and when she needs extra TLC. Bi-polar is a hard road to walk for herself and very hard for her close family as well. I am somewhat treading on shaky ground because I am at a point that sometimes I'm in a reversal role of mother-to-child -- and yet as my mother I want and will respect her role in my life. Please know that I would never bring any disrespect to her but that I know that many people have not had much contact with her because of their geographical distance or just haven't understood her actions and words and have distanced themselves. Sometimes she's my wonderful, loving, faithful, enduring, selfless, nurturing mother and at other times I have to remember that if she is less than those that it is because of the terrible sin in this world that causes such illness. I will always love, support, and care for my mother in whatever capacity is needed. She always took care of me and believed in me and I couldn't do anything less for her.
Mom has struggled with bi-polar since the mid 1990s but more apparently so since 2000, and incredibly so since 2008. Sometimes she feels great and carries on like normal but sometimes she has what I call "episodes" of being more up/manic or being more down/depressed.
Up-to-speed note .. Mom has mostly gone downhill in the last few weeks since Mother's Day weekend after several months of feeling mostly normal. She has become much less aware of personal space and is seemingly desperate for physical affection so she tends to hug closer, longer, and more tightly than the typical person's comfort zone.
Tuesday, May 18th - She insisted on going to the ER. She called Dad who was at a nearby card party to take her. It was a somewhat scare because we heard of it through the grapevine and I went searching for a couple hours before finding her and getting information. After many hours and tests there was nothing physically to be found wrong except her own concerns and overdramatic tendencies in that situation. When in the care of hospital staff and with Dad she would 'deteriorate' to a helpless state as if she were on he deathbed but if she spoke to myself or John on the telephone or in person then she perked up and somewhat immediately got better. It's as if her mothering instinct kicks in to making sure her children aren't overly concerned with her, much like I'd tell my preschoolers that Mommy is okay no matter what I'm truly feeling. The attending MD and her own MD determined that she could be admitted to the psychiatric ward if she desired, which she had previously mentioned, but she turned it down and went home.
Saturday, May 22nd - Around 10:30am our children and I went to their house to visit and to go to a festival up the street from their house. Dad and I both separately spoke to Mom, who was in bed. She insisted she was fine and for us to go on without her, speaking in normal tones and friendliness. Just after 1pm as we were walking back to their house a neighbor met us partway saying that while gone Mom had called 911. We don't know what was said but when the paramedics and multiple police apparently swarmed their home she wouldn't speak so they took her to the hospital along with all medications in sight. The same scenerio unfolded but this time her blood tests showed too-low levels of certain medications. She later admitted to Dad that she had been throwing them away. (He has them set up in daily/hourly pill boxes and gives them to her when he is home and reminds her to take them before he leaves if he won't be.) They decided to admit her into the psychiatric ward to level these out and make changes as needed. I think this is the best decision for right now. So she is at our local hospital for the time being.
Visiting days are Tues, Thurs, Sat, & Sun for 2-hr stints. The hospital phone is 828-286-5000 and after asking for the 5th floor/psychiatric floor the nurse's station will have to confirm with Mom before she can speak. If you call and she can't or refuses to speak please do not feel slighted. Sometimes she's up for it and sometimes she isn't. I have and will visit each available time, including tonight. I'll update later tonight on her condition and how Sunday's visit and tonight goes!
~ Steph
Mom has struggled with bi-polar since the mid 1990s but more apparently so since 2000, and incredibly so since 2008. Sometimes she feels great and carries on like normal but sometimes she has what I call "episodes" of being more up/manic or being more down/depressed.
Up-to-speed note .. Mom has mostly gone downhill in the last few weeks since Mother's Day weekend after several months of feeling mostly normal. She has become much less aware of personal space and is seemingly desperate for physical affection so she tends to hug closer, longer, and more tightly than the typical person's comfort zone.
Tuesday, May 18th - She insisted on going to the ER. She called Dad who was at a nearby card party to take her. It was a somewhat scare because we heard of it through the grapevine and I went searching for a couple hours before finding her and getting information. After many hours and tests there was nothing physically to be found wrong except her own concerns and overdramatic tendencies in that situation. When in the care of hospital staff and with Dad she would 'deteriorate' to a helpless state as if she were on he deathbed but if she spoke to myself or John on the telephone or in person then she perked up and somewhat immediately got better. It's as if her mothering instinct kicks in to making sure her children aren't overly concerned with her, much like I'd tell my preschoolers that Mommy is okay no matter what I'm truly feeling. The attending MD and her own MD determined that she could be admitted to the psychiatric ward if she desired, which she had previously mentioned, but she turned it down and went home.
Saturday, May 22nd - Around 10:30am our children and I went to their house to visit and to go to a festival up the street from their house. Dad and I both separately spoke to Mom, who was in bed. She insisted she was fine and for us to go on without her, speaking in normal tones and friendliness. Just after 1pm as we were walking back to their house a neighbor met us partway saying that while gone Mom had called 911. We don't know what was said but when the paramedics and multiple police apparently swarmed their home she wouldn't speak so they took her to the hospital along with all medications in sight. The same scenerio unfolded but this time her blood tests showed too-low levels of certain medications. She later admitted to Dad that she had been throwing them away. (He has them set up in daily/hourly pill boxes and gives them to her when he is home and reminds her to take them before he leaves if he won't be.) They decided to admit her into the psychiatric ward to level these out and make changes as needed. I think this is the best decision for right now. So she is at our local hospital for the time being.
Visiting days are Tues, Thurs, Sat, & Sun for 2-hr stints. The hospital phone is 828-286-5000 and after asking for the 5th floor/psychiatric floor the nurse's station will have to confirm with Mom before she can speak. If you call and she can't or refuses to speak please do not feel slighted. Sometimes she's up for it and sometimes she isn't. I have and will visit each available time, including tonight. I'll update later tonight on her condition and how Sunday's visit and tonight goes!
~ Steph
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