The Meeting and Decisions

Mom Update:

Friday, May 28th - Dad and I met at the hospital and briefly spoke with Mom before heading to the meeting. When we entered her room she was lying on the bed with her eyes fluttering half open, appearing almost comatose. It was startling and bizarre, honestly. We spoke to her and she whispered back to me that she loved me. Dad can't hear whisperings so that will prove to be frustrating for their communication if she continues that way much of the time. We had to go on to the meeting room and a few minutes later a nurse came with Mom walking slowly beside her with assistance.

We spoke with the social worker and a nurse, and then later with her primary doctor. Mom went from barely whispering to speaking and giving quiet arguments and just any thoughts that would keep her IN the hospital because she just doesn't feel ready to go home. She wants to be cured and healed and go home and live normally before she leaves. Obviously, this is a chronic illness and we've each explained this to her and will in the future as it comes up. However, it was talked about and agreed all around that the best for Mom is to come HOME (Read: Not A Nursing Home/Assisted Living!!!) She's agreed with her kind doctor that she will get up and interact with others, participate in activities and meetings, etc, at the hospital so that she may leave tomorrow.

So the PLAN: Mom will leave the hospital Sunday afternoon and come home with Dad. Dad, being retired, is willing and able to care for her and be a nurse to her with her current needs. Most of the time, Mom seems to be able to do everything she needs to do on her own. She'll speak, take care of her personal needs, dress, eat, and so on by herself. Physically speaking, she needs help with walking sometimes because she loses footing and becomes unsteady if she stands up too quickly. When she begins to worry and fret her blood pressure sky rockets. Other than those she is fine physically. But in her mind she slips into these darker places and we have to help draw her out of them to see the truth of her abilities.

Manic-depression/Bi-polar - It's a battle of the mind. She needs to draw on her will to live and live life abundantly. The deep depression makes her withdraw and lose interest in others, activities, taking care of herself, and want to sleep most of the day and night. The manic side makes her impatient, agitated, angry, and sometimes lose sense of propriety.

My thoughts:

It's..difficult..watching anyone not have full capabilities and especially in our society it makes us awkward to be around others who are disabled in some way. But one thing that must ground us is to know that people are still people. We all need love and affection, we need attention and acceptance for who we are whatever that may be.

A baby looks forward to seeing his mother and father and smiles and loves them. He doesn't know that he's waking them up at night, making messy diapers, and making them change their lives to incorporate him.

A 4-year-old is very curious, asking questions, trying to do things on her own, laughing and talking too loudly. She doesn't realize that she's making more messes than helping, asking more questions than the adults want to answer, and disturbing the quiet setting at the library.

The same goes on for all ages, the levels of independence and dependence, the mind knowing and understanding or being simple and quiet. We are People. We grow, we change, we always need others, and at times in our lives we need them to care completely for our needs. This sets us apart from all other creation. We love and we enjoy and we endure.

I have loved my mother when I was a needy often-vomiting baby, a curious child, a mouthy teenager, a sometimes foolhardy and too-independent young adult, and as a married mother seeking advice of another woman. I need her now, and she needs me. I won't let her down. She'll always be my mother no matter what her capacity in my life.

I hope that others will feel the same about her because she needs all of us to let her know that life is worth living. It's no great effort for me to feel this way - I've always loved her. She's my Mom.